He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
