I hate your face
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
