Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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