Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
