I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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