I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
