I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
