your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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