A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
