just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
