I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
