I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My bed smells like the plague
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
