I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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