He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
