how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
