today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
