Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
