Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
