From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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