The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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