Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Randomize
