Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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