Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
