I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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