Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
