I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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