We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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