Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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