Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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