margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
