those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize