yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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