I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
