I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
