I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
