what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
