just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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