This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
