i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize