You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize