Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
accomplished twins. life is a go
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Randomize
