the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
