Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
