She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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