This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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