My brain says no but my pants say off.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
time to smoke my breakfast
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
