mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
