question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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