Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
