Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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