WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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