it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
