Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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