I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
