idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
