got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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