wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
