I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
