She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
send nudes
from the living room?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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