I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
