operation have a gay friend backfired
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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