Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
