you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize