She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
